I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
