she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
