Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
40s are totally the cure
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
