I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The adults are the big ones right?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
