Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
