How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
