My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
