Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
