I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
