Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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