She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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