i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
