we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
