The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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