A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
