I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
