Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
