guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
