I think i peed on brittanys purse
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
