We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
