I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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