Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
