at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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