those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so let's talk penis.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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