Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
