But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
