i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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