Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
