I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
