I only kidnapped one of them. chill
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
