Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
MIDGETS
????
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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