wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
