My liver just broke up with me...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
