We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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