those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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