I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
