Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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