It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
