you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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