I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
