So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Can I color on your dick again?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
