@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
