I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
