Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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