I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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