ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
