I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
