..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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