I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
