She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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