Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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