my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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