I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
