yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
