We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
