capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
